I shall not be writing about
Harry Sussex because “everybody” else will. Well no, not everybody else – but you know what I mean. Oh, damn generalization without qualification. So often I feel like radioactive dust, swept up into all the rest to make a headline. So let me outline the sort of sweeping statements that really give me indigestion.
Everybody loves a festival. I went once. Call me defeatist but all I remember is discomfort, chill, damp, sweat, mud – and the mess afterwards, which was as nothing compared to nowadays. If you want to convince me of an alternative society, show me that you know ugly and potentially destructive rubbish is – and liaise in the disposal of it.
Everybody loves kittens. But kittens become cats and while I have owned two at different times in my life, cats like bull elephants or babies, are very different one from another. The first cat was a kind of seal on getting married and keeping house. He ran away when I left. And the second was a brown Burmese called Chocolate Pud because, curled up, that’s what he looked like.
After I had moved him twice and he had generously adapted, I had to move a third time so I let him go to be among others he had already met and liked at a place in the country, where he happily adapted. He was beautiful.
Everybody wants children. If I could tell you the number of kind thoughtful men and women who have had to negotiate a partner’s change of mind, both for and against… And we all know you don’t get to send them back.
At one of our first shared suppers, Pam the Painter told me warily that she had never wanted to be married or have children -and I said “Yes.” Which decision you make is your affair but babies (who grow into adults – all too fast) are not bricks to shore up a relationship or make you feel fulfilled. Some of us prefer small children, some like them older and some prefer adults. Getting there is a long haul. And know – before you start – that you can’t have it, just because you want it.
Everybody wants and loves instant.
Maybe I have a different idea about the speed of things – you’d expect that, older generation and all that. So, while I love the moment you see light or scenery revealed – and then it’s gone, I spent years explaining that your doctor was not negligent or uncaring because s/he had not referred you both to an infertility specialist when you had been married ten months . (People confused getting married with getting pregnant the falling popularity of marriage has knocked that one on the head…) He/she was asking you to wait – which is nowadays a revolutionary thought.
Everybody loves on line. Well I don’t. I won’t bore on about wardrobe colour, texture, proportions, quality but in the last two weeks, I have come across two references from people younger and infinitely better qualified than I – one a man, one a woman, just to be really even handed – both referring to addiction to tech. They are looking at the everyday and the younger among us, as well as malleable young. The confusion over M&S online is not a one off. It will happen again. If you can open up these possibilities, you can pervert them. Not for nothing is it called a portal – and most openings go both ways.
Everybody loves a white wedding. No way. Not even when I was a little girl. And now, when weddings are business and the industry babbles on about budgets/honeymoons/table dressing/favours (ugh !) quote “something people want to keep not leave on the table” unquote, clearly manners dumped with the gift/custom shaped eyelashes (false eye lashes are the lipstick of the 21st century) and to my taste (not “everybody’s”) inappropriate dresses, I am repelled. If you can work your way into something kind and committed through this snowstorm of unnecessary expenditure – you both deserve to be happy.
“Everybody “ makes whatever is referred to sound acceptable or understandable. A sort of false truth. I don’t buy it. Beyond the needs of media and publicity to try and remain relevant, who is everybody?
Annalog 